Monday, September 29, 2008

The correct way to get your teacher's attention (as a grade five male student)

A) TEACHER!! TEACHER!!
B) JENNIFER!! JENNIFER!!
C) COME ON BABY!!

Haha, definitely had C happen today.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

I'm sorry Koreans

I have to admit, I thought the Korean people were being a teeny tiny hugely ridiculous in their expectations of the weather.

After Chusok (thanksgiving) it was still boiling hot-sweat through your clothes weather. All of the teachers at my school were SHOCKED.

"After chusok it is normally quite cool"

"Korea USED to have FOUR seasons, 'summer, fall, winter, spring' now there are only two, summer and winter"

'Are you kidding me?'

Chusok ended TWO days ago, and because it's not immediately cool we've LOST FALL??? Take two days out of a season and it's obselite???

However...

Four days ago it was business as usual, sweating through my clothes, taking six showers a day, yadayadayada,

and three days ago it became fall. The air is crisp, it's dropped at least fifteen degrees, I need to wear sweaters, and I FINALLY understood what my teachers were talking about.

It's the most UNgradual season change I've ever witnessed in my life.

Weird.

So sorry guys, I really thought you were nuts!

YOOOOUUUUU'REEEE OUUUUUUUUUUTTTT!!

Again, and again, and again.

This weekend the Jeollanamdo gang went to Gwangju to watch a baseball game.

It turned out to be a 'battle of the pitchers'. This means nothing happens. Nothing. Wim assured me it was a poetical game. However, after 10 innings with NO runs (and maybe only two times when ANYBODY got to third base), all of us except Wim had had enough!

So what do you do for three hours when nothing is happening on the field?

You watch the crowd of course!

We paid 20$ instead of 6$ to sit in a VIP area. This was supposed to include pizza and pop. It ACTUALLY included black bean theara-tea and krispy kreme doughnuts. Fair enough...

Anyway, we were sitting directly behind homeplate so we had a REALLY good view of the crowd.

My goodness. They are very very well organized. Every single person had two inflatable clappers. A man with a whistle stood at the front and at his single the crowd would start cheering complete with choreography with their clappers. Their were AT LEAST five different regular cheers.

And then special ones for special occasions. For example, when our pitcher whacked the opposing side's batter in the knee, the crowd starting cheering (in English) WE HOPE YOU LIKED IT. Good sportmanship?

Also, at one point the crowd put away their clappers, and brought out balloons that had been completely hidden for two hours. There was a VERY long balloon cheer that ended with everyone untying the end's of their balloons and letting them WHISH away.

Do they go to training to be in these crowds? How do they know what to do!?

Also during this game we witnessed grown men violently pushing small children out of the way to catch foul balls AND ten grown women skipping together on a ginourmous rope for a count of fifty hops. (When they reached fifty the crowd went wild, and the women all hugged each other for five minutes).

However even the excitment of watching the crowd grew thin after three hours, so we left before anyone scored a point.

We went to a karaoke bar with a drum kit and a piano. I rocked the drums for a while.

And this may surprise some of you, but I also have developed an affinity for karaoke rap songs. It's very very strange.

xoxo

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

New plan!

Well, I haven't updated in forever because I'm just TOO busy to make well-thought out posts. So my new plan is to write UN-well thought out posts.

Here goes...

Last night I had my first teacher dinner. I've heard many many stories about other native speakers' teacher's dinners. They're supposed to go on forever and end up with someone being ridiculously drunk (and perhaps at a noraebong aka a private karaoke room).

Mine was VERY tame. There was only eight of us, 3 males, 5 females. Just the grade six teachers, with no principals. Only one bottle of soju was consumed (for reference, I can drink an entire bottle and just be comfortably drunk, it's a fairly weak spirit). AND it only lasted for one hour and 20 minutes.

HOWEVER I was grilled like a cheese sandwich.

This was some of the grade six teachers' first interaction with me.

I was asked at various times throughout the dinner:

-Do I have a boyfriend?
-Do I have a boyfriend in Canada?
-Have I ever had a lover? (At the look on my face, Winnie modified this to boyfriend)
-Could I explain maple syrup? (This is RIDICULOUSLY difficult. I said it was like maple-flavoured honey)
-So maple syrup is not a drink?
-What are the traditional folk songs of Canada?
-Do you know 'The Beatles'
-Your eyes are very beautiful, glasses are not good on you. Why do you wear them?
-What do you think of Korean men?
-Do you like freckles? We think freckles are ugly. (When I pointed out the moles on my face and arms I was scrupiously ignored).

ALSO even though I've always heard it's totally inappropriate for co-workers to date here, I can't help but feel as though they are trying to set me up with the 25 year old male teacher.

Examples:
-OH!! You are BOTH single?
-Sit next to him SO YOU CAN TALK!!
-TALK TO HIM!!!
-You like noraebang? HE likes noraebang!
-Haha! You are BOTH single? (again)
-He asked you if you like alcohol? He ask you on a date!!!
-TALK TO HIM!!!
-You are both YOUNG! You can be friends!!!!

I've told Winnie in passing that I think it's totally inappropriate for co-teachers to date.

BUT I could totally be misreading this because he is also one of the four teachers here who can speak English at a reasonable level. So maybe they just legitimately want me to have a friend.

Well the first class of the day is here.

Annonghi Gyesayo (Stay in peace, as in you are staying, I am going)

Monday, September 8, 2008

Fun Stuff!

1. I went to Yeosu again Saturday night. We went to a beach party. There was a big fire with a log across it, and a man was walking back and forth on the log (a small log mind you) through the fire!

That was cool to watch, but even COOLER was the ocean!! I went wading at about 10pm. The water was really warm, and when you moved it lit up neon green! I guess there is some sort of glow in the dark algae or something? I can't explain it! I'm not a scientist! But it was SO wicked.

Then I finally got to noraebang (karaoke in individual rooms). That was also wicked.

2. Gumdo. It's a sword-fighting martial art. But you don't get a real sword until your black belt. I just have a wooden one. It's awesome. Youtube it!

3. For Chusok (this weekend). I'm off Thurs-Wed AND I'm going to Jeju island and renting a scooter!

4. And I MIGHT buy a motorcycle.

All in all. Life is great.

School number two: Samsan. Aka no-englishville

At SAMSAN I have never been more confused in my life. In the form of a teeny-tiny 10 year old girl I had a 'manager' (their words) who didn't speak a word of English telling me what to do.

"12:30" she writes on a piece of paper. 'luncheetime' She smiles and rubs her stomach. She gestures me to follow her with that perculiar motion they use (the way we beckon someone forward is only used on dogs here, and considered VERY rude to use on a person). I follow her into the cafeteria, she shoves kids out of the way so I'm first in line, and takes my tray for me. She seats me in the EXACT middle of the cafeteria. All of the students are sitting on the left, the teachers on the right, and I am in no man's land, sitting all by myself surrounded by five empty tables in all directions.

What kind of manager IS this?

She pulls out my chair for me, so I obligingly sit down, then she dissapears, leaving me all alone to consume my lunch.

I eat a mushy green bean.

It's not a mushy green bean.

It's the hottest pepper I've ever eaten in my life.

Now I'm sitting all by myself convulsing! in the middle of the cafeteria giggling and snorting to myself while tears run down my face. I found it funny. Although come to think of it, maybe foreigners acting like lunatics is WHY I had to sit a good 10 metres apart from everyone else?

A few minutes later one of the teachers comes over and beckons me to sit at her table. I eat in total silence with them. Everytime my chopsticks go to my tray, three pairs of eyes hover about an inch away from my chopsticks. Maybe they are evaluting my skills? It's unnerving whatever they're doing. I wanted to shoe those eyes away, but I was worried I'd fracture their bones again, so I refrained.

Oh I forgot. There was some talking when I ate two mushroom slices in a row. Lots of talking. Lots of questions directed at me. In Korean. I smiled.

Later I looked at the kids trays and THEY didn't get the hottest peppers ever. Lucky little snots. (Just kidding they're REALLY cute).

After lunch my 'manager' takes me to this lonely little room on the top floor. No one else uses the room, or the ENTIRE FLOOR as far as I can tell. It's becoming clear to me that it's VERY important that I have VERY minimal human contact. The room contains, a couch, a fan, and a fridge. Here I am to (from what I got from her mimes) sleep, sit staring into space, or do prep work. For FIVE hours Thursday and Friday!!!

But I'm not complaining. I like all the prep time!

Teaching is also much harder in Samsan. Winnie really likes teaching so she does most of the work at YeongDang. I fought her a bit about it (shouldn't I do SOMETHING besides the game? Isn't that why I'm here?) but I gave up. If she wants to do the lion's share of the work, more power to her.

SAMSAN however, I go to their classrooms, and the homeroom teacher stays too. I don't have a 'co-teacher' persay. The kids are a lot better behaved because their teacher is there, but I don't think they understand a word I say. Neither do the teachers. Oh well.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Volleyball Update AND TGIF!!!

Winnie called me last night. My ARC has arrived (like a green card in America) so I am an official alien!

Winnie told me the lady I hit was JUST fine! I was SO relived. Winnie went on to say the lady kept asking Winnie about me (the volleyball incident happened on Wednesday, and I go to a different school Thursday/Friday) and that I should really call her to tell her I'm okay (however I was not provided with her phone number).

So I'm feeling pretty pumped that I haven't maimed this woman when Winnie continues:

'Oh yes she is just fine! Her face only hurts when she moves it, but its fine when she doesn't move'

Okay.

How often do you move your face? Especially when you're a teacher and everything has to be animated! And of course she was back to school the next day, people don't have sick days in Korea. If you're REALLY sick you come to school and sleep in the nursing room.

THEN Winnie says:

'Her bone isn't even broken it's ONLY fractured' AND all of a sudden I'm no longer feeling so good about the whole thing.

I, Jennifer Doucette, have fractured a bone. In a woman's FACE.

I'm hard.

Watch out world.

Get in my way and I'll crack your bones.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

And for the first time since my mother gave birth to me

...today I sent someone to the hospital.

The teachers were playing volleyball at school (we do this EVERY Wednesday from 2:30-5:00, good way to combat humpday blues but I am NEVER participating again!!) and I creamed yeung-hyeun in the eye with my elbow. She was running around bumping into things, clutching her eye, clearly disorientated. A couple of teachers ran after her. I teared up immediately. All the other teachers were like 'ok back in the game Jennifer!'. I said 'no' and went to the bathroom and cried.

Winnie followed me a few minuted later and said 'everyone was VERY worried about me'. I'm thinking, shouldn't they be worried about yeung-hyeun? But no. Volleyball accidents happen all the time. Grown-ups crying is apparently much more serious.

Winnie and I hung out in the English classroom for a while, when she asked if I'd go back to they gym for some food. I didn't want to, but she repeated, everyone would be VERY worried about me if I didn't go. So now I'm feeling AWFUL about hitting this woman, but also SO embarrassed for crying about it (I wasn't hysterically sobbing or anything I swear, tears just came into my eyes, I don't even know if they leaked out!)

I go back into the gym and on the stage are six newpapers spread out on the floor with: concord grapes (delicious!) broiled octopus to dip in red spicy sauce (allright, really. I surprise myself everyday by eating this stuff) and rice desserts? maybe? they just tasted like mashed rice dusted with flour. Not my idea of desert...

So Winnie and I scope out the seating situation (in my school it's important that men and women are divided ALL the time, and also you prefer to sit with the teachers in your grade). So we joined a newspaper with women. They assured me through Winnie that Yueng-Hyeun's actual EYE was fine (what a huge relief!) but the bone beside it was sore (my ELBOW hurt from this collesion by the way). They also said they were VERY worried about me and wanted to comfort me but didn't know what to say.

I always feel mentally challenged in this country!

THEN they bring out bottles of beer, and I'm like OH YES. I don't enjoy beer but I wanted a drink SO BAD. But of course! I forgot something VERY important. I don't have a penis. Duh.

My newspaper wasn't offered beer.

Later on a teacher receives a phone call from Yueng-Hyeun. She is in the hospital waiting for her x-ray results because they were worried her cheekbone was FRACTURED (I might have hurt someone's BONE!!). She was just calling to say she was VERY SORRY she couldn't come back to school to see me and make sure I was okay, but she HAD to wait at the hospital.

I can't even describe how ASTOUNDED and CONFOUNDED all of this makes me. I am in freaking lala land and I don't know the rules!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why is everyone worried about me??? AND first impressions are SO important here. Am I now written off as a hysterical weakling (BONE HURTER)???

In other news, I taught four grade five classes this morning and they are ADORABLE. Wish I had them everyday. When I asked for volunteers they chorus of "ME!ME!ME!TEACHER!ME!JENNIPUR!!ME!!ME!!" was totally deafening. I loved it!! They are really into participating which makes me job SO much easier! Yet, a mere four months later they'll be grade sixes and pratically ambivilent. I wonder why?

Well now I have to make lesson plans.

Hope I can get through this without electrocuting anyone, or inadvertently tripping someone and breaking their legs, or .............

Monday, September 1, 2008

Recess!!

Soooooo the culture shock is definitely setting in. Yesterday was the first day of school but I didn't have any classes. I had to give a speech in front of 40 teachers who had NO idea what I was talking about. Winnie translated. Then I had to stand on stage for an assembly, straining with all my might to hear the Principal say my name so I wouldn't miss my cue to step forward and bow.

It was when I was leaving school at 5 when it really hit me though. I mean HIT ME. Just...how different everything is, really. These aren't just surface things, it's an entirely different way of life. It sunk in for the first time when I saw the hen coop outside my school. My school keeps ROOSTERS!! I don't know why but that just did it for me.

I waited for the bus home with a group of 40 high school boys (me handsome boy, you face very very small-this is apparently a good thing) . They knew where I lived!! I mean, the fact that I live in Shidae is pretty obvious because all of the foreigners live there, but they knew my building number!! Creepy. And yet not, because I stand out like a red kite in the blue sky.

Then I got home and called Haydar about taking tae kwon do lessons with him. I've never met him before, a friend gave me his number. He asked me if I knew where his school was, and when I said no, he said 'ok, i'll be there in ten minutes to pick you up on my bike' click. Wow. I'd been home for ten minutes, and now in ten more I had to be ready to get a scooter ride from a total stranger on my way to TKD class. wow. (it turned out pretty well)

Today is my first day teaching classes (i'm on lunch right now). I did four classes from 9-1210. I have one more after lunch, then Winnie and I have three hours to do prep for the next lesson. Teaching is interesting....I had one HORRIBLE class, but the rest are pretty darn cute.

At the cafeteria some of the younger boys surrounded me (literally 20 of them) and started asking me questions. One boy pointed out my moles (thank you) and asked 'why?'. I said I was born with them like my green eyes. 'YOU HAVE GREEN EYES????' So now I had 20 9 year olds excitedly peering into my eyes, saying 'whoaaaaaaaaaaaa'. haha, it was pretty cute. I don't mind the attention at all really. The ones who ignore me kind of dissapoint me. I like being a novelty. Maybe that's why I'm here. (In one of my classes they clapped when I said 'hello' in Korean.

I have students arriving so bye for now!